The Case Against Junior

I'm not a fan of Junior. Here's why:

1) Two people, one house, one name. Confusing. There are plenty of names to go around. They're completely free so there's no need to economize.

2) Two people, one house, one name. Nicknames! Big Jim and Little Jim. Old Susan and Young Susan. You want to be big and old or little and young? You pick.

3) Great expectations. He will be just like me only smaller. Or better. Or never quite as good. Or never quite as rich. Or handsome. Or smart. He'll be just like me but he won't make the mistakes I made because I'll make sure he doesn't. Or else.

4) This is my son, Junior. This is my other son, What's-His-Face.

5) This is my son, Junior. This is my daughter, the Girl.

6) This is my son, Junior. I wanted to name him something else but there was a lot of pressure to name him Junior. Maybe I'll have another son someday and I'll be able to give him a name I like.

I have ranted on message board upon message board about these very things for years. Years. Ranted. So, that being said. What did I do? I, Suzanne, named my youngest daughter...wait for it...Susannah.

No, I really did.

It really didn't have anything to do with my name being Suzanne. That is, I didn't name her that to honor myself in any way. Which is not to say that I didn't realize that Suzanne and Susannah are variations on a theme. I obviously knew that and I did give it a lot of thought before finally greenlighting the name for which Rick and the kids were campaigning. Would it bother me if people thought I was naming her Suzanne, Jr? Yeah, probably. How much? Just a little.

Still, even though I didn't actually name her after me I don't think it would be very self aware to suggest that her name being a variant of mine is just a coincidence. Surely some deep and secret desire to have a namesake didn't factor somewhere into the decision.

And, my brother and sister-in-law are about to bring an 8th generation William G into the world. The G changes. Some of these William G's have gone by Will. Some by their middle name. Some, like my brother, by an unrelated nickname. I should be opposed (from an abstract perspective and not from a having-any-say-in-the-matter perspective, natch) to their choice of William G based on the reasons stated above but I'm not. I think its nice. I love that they are going to call him Will; a return to a nickname of 4 generations ago. I like that they aren't using the same G that's been used for the past 3 generations.

Am I a hypocrite then? A scofflaw making a mockery of my own self-imposed rules of naming?

Ralph Waldo Emerson wouldn't think so. He tells us in one of his many famous quotes, "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of litte minds". Of course, this sounds to me to be an awful lot like moral relativism but...that's a different blog altogether.

And Ralph Waldo Emerson? Son of Rebecca Waldo Emerson? His four children? Waldo, Ellen, Edith and Edward Waldo.